Monday, August 24, 2009

Blogging: The New Passive Agressive

The kids were with dad on their summer vacation before school started. All is quiet in the house. The dog is mopey because the kids are gone and my friends, who are proud owners of an RV, wanted to park the monstrosity at the beach for a fun day of relaxation, food, sun and overall summer goodness. Count me in.

There is a strip near the beach where there is approximately 25 feet wide of parking and it's parallel parking on the street side only. Inside, you can park either head/ass in, leaving a car width to drive out of. Pretty simple stuff, right? Apparently not. Cars started double-parking leaving that car width (for the people who were savvy enough to get their early to get one of the coveted inside parking spots) about 1/2 car short. As I sat in the RV watching openings meant for people to get through suddenly close up because asshat A thought how fortunate he was to find that available parking spot. Never mind that nobody can now move until you decide you're done for the day and leave. People started complaining to the life-guard. I saw a lot of hand waving, "Jackasses" being muttered and that was just by me!

Realizing that I could not stay all day due to some mom duties I needed to tend to before the kids got home, I started watching with interest. Noting how my car was suddenly immobile because jackass didn't see a problem with parking right in front of me, I start to stew. I march in the RV for a better look from a higher location to assess who's the asshole and holy crap! You can't park there!! I can actually feel my blood pressure start to rise. Now granted, I was holding a nice Mojito in my hand but the other hand is gesturing wildly from the safety of inside the RV. Periodically, I would manage to go outside, sit in a chair and discuss my observations with my friends who have now started to give each other those looks of, "girl needs to learn to relax". Was that a horn? In I go to mutter to myself or peek around the corner to see how the, "there is no fucking way my car can fit through there!!"

The weather was beautiful. A cool breeze, the sound of the ocean, the warm sand on our toes and I spent the whole time going from my perching spot in the RV to sitting in the chair commenting on how others were parked. I completely forgot I didn't even have to leave for several hours. "What if there was an emergency?" "How can anyone leave?" The whole time I'm thinking: I'm so blogging about this! I'll show you. Who? The anonymous driver, granted he's an asshole as most drivers are, who I will more than likely never see again? Or the older couple who came to the beach for an afternoon of sunshine? (Don't even get me started on why they have to drive a vehicle bigger than their double-wide.)

By the time I left, people had started to leave so holes in the car line-up were starting to appear. I got out just fine. The whole way home I started getting angry at myself for getting so worked up over something as stupid as parking. This girl needs to learn to relax. Oh wait a in the blue truck, you did NOT just cut me off like that!! You're next asshole, you're next.