Christmas years gone by

True story.  It's May, I'm on the phone with a friend of mine who happens to be a fireman.   We're chatting and my dog walks by.

Me:  My dog just walked by the tree.

Friend:  What tree?

Me:  Jesus, I hope she doesn't fart.  That thing will go up in flames.

Friend:  What tree?

Me:  Although if there aren't any needles anymore, what's to burn?

::crickets::

Friend:  Do you mean your Christmas tree from last year?

Me:  Ummm....yea.

Friend:  I think I'm obligated by law to come and remove that fire hazard.

10:00pm:  Under cover of dark, dragged tree to dumpster.  The next morning as I was walking out the apartment thought, "hmmm.....probably should have gone back over it with a broom as there is definitely a trail from my front door to the dumpster.  Oh well.  At least the dog can now fart without fear of blowing up."

Was totally offended when the office had a pool the following Christmas on the month I take down the tree.  If you had April, come see me for your prize.